


Breathe

by GhostedAlien



Series: The Broken Wings of Icarus [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Amnesia, Internal Conflict, One Shot, Short One Shot, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29377959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostedAlien/pseuds/GhostedAlien
Summary: This is a quick one-shot that takes place in the middle of a story I have yet to publish. I'm in the process of rewriting my previous HC zombie AU, same premise but hopefully better written.For context: Doc was a mad scientist and accidentally released the zombie virus, and lost his memories in the accident. Ren, his best friend and his dad's last experiment (a dog-human hybrid), nursed him back to health and convinced Doc that he was just any normal scientist. Ren is the only one who knows of Doc's true past.
Relationships: Docm77 & Rendog, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: The Broken Wings of Icarus [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157927
Kudos: 8





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Until the next life, friend](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159779) by [GhostedAlien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostedAlien/pseuds/GhostedAlien). 



> This is just a short warm-up drabble for longer chapters (and so I don't forget my writing style lol). Criticisms and comments are encouraged!
> 
> Also, I hope this was respectful enough to the Hermits. I am writing the AU's characters based off their Minecraft personas (aka their skin, what they usually do on the server, and what they do for roleplay and stuff) and are loosely based off the real persons themselves. Even if there's no shipping, if any of the Hermits express any discomfort towards fics like these, I will be taking this down ASAP.
> 
> Have a nice read <3

The hybrid sat on the inclined roof of their wing, staring at the sky. It was one of those rare occasions he had let his sunglasses sit on his head, freeing his eyes of the dim shades. It took a while for his eyes to get used to the amount of light entering his pupils again, but it didn’t matter to him. The slight burn and ache was worth it. He might be thankful for the way that those things covered his eyes from people, but he could never hide himself from the sky. Ren slouched along the incline of the roof, with legs slightly apart and an arm resting on his left knee.

Ren had always been fond of nature, and although technically he now spends all his time outside, it has been a while since he had a moment like this, a moment to just stop and smell the roses.

It was just a few hours after the sun had reached her peak and was now beginning to paint the atmosphere with flowy and pliant orange light across a vibrant blue backdrop, softened and decorated by gentle whites and greys.

Ren was observing a dark blue-green patch of clouds against grey ones when his right ear twitched as he heard the metal of the roof latch clang open and shut, promptly followed by deliberately light footsteps of rough boots on the thin metal.

He felt his tail wag against his clothes and the cold roof as Doc made his way to Ren’s left, hands in lab coat pockets. He was giving the sky a cursory look as if it were just a colorful billboard for a product he had no interest in buying.

Doc had the same detached and uninterested look he always wore on his face before… _all this_ , Ren thought, but he had no worries about what that emotionless expression might mean. Doc had never harbored any interest in anything like cloud-gazing, mad scientist or not. Still, Ren had to try. He had always tried to get his friend to learn to sit back and relax but he was always met with either reluctance, dismissal, or was outright ignored, but now... Ren glanced at his friend then back at the sky, this wasn’t the same Doc now was he?

“It’s beautiful ain’t it?” Ren asked, surprising both Doc and himself. It was the first words they’ve said to each other outside of good-mornings, good-nights, and wish-me-lucks in the past few days. Not that it mattered really, the group made good progress on making the place habitable, so he was willing to overlook the fact that he and his best friend treated each other like strained roommates.

Doc glanced back at a particularly bright patch of clouds where the orange sunlight hit it beautifully, “Yeah, I’d say so.” Without another word, Doc sat himself down to Ren’s left, seemingly to have found a way to appreciate the sky.

They both sat in silence, watching the clouds contort and move overhead. A thousand words could be said right now, a million actions that would rather, and perhaps _should,_ be done; Their daily routine consisted of life or death situations with consequences that could impact the last few of humanity, yet they sat on a roof cloud-gazing in silence, quietly appreciating the sun’s warmth on cold and tense skin. The dim and chill air of the forest treated them a bit _too_ kindly at times, Ren thought, feeling himself yearning for a nap.

Ren watched the sky transform itself perpetually to where in a few minutes it would look completely different to what it was before, but the sky, in all it’s glory and grace, was always beautiful and worthy of love. Every second and every movement, the sky changes itself but always worthy of the same amount of love.

Ren paused to himself at that thought.

Were _they_ worthy of love?

Ren never really thought about something as fantastical as _love_ before. To him, being loved was a far-off dream that would never come true. Even as a puppy he knew that there were just some things that were off-limits to a freak like him.

Ren touched his ear subconsciously, he always thought that he would die at a young age, he didn’t know if his canine features included the mere decade long lifespan. He’s long since gone past that point and he should have dropped dead ages ago in some laboratory hallway, and yet here he is, well into his thirties. _Maybe this year,_ Ren thought bitterly.

But his lifespan wasn’t the only thing Ren contemplated about his hybridism since he could realize what exactly he was.

Long ago Ren had resigned himself to a life behind closed doors and unnaturally white walls, liked rather than loved, and all friends made out of proximity and convenience. A normal life was something he could never have, or so he had thought.

This apocalypse had been nothing short of a rebirth.

Ren wasn’t the only one with heavy secrets, not the only freak. Here he was free to roam, and _almost_ be himself. In this daily fight for survival Ren had realized that not only did he want to survive but to live, to _actually and properly live life in every sense of the word._

But did he even deserve to have this? To live his life as if he weren’t complicit in the near extinction of humanity?

Life was easier when Ren barely knew what love and living was. He could detach himself from the world and plant himself by Doc’s side, being the obedient companion he was created to be, not like he could do anything else really. He was just some guard dog you could talk to. But now… now he was his own person, not just that, he was a person that was _loved,_ loved and cared for dearly.

Ren gulped.

He didn’t deserve this.

Ren looked at the only friend he was allowed to have.

Doc didn’t deserve this either.

He was still watching the sky just as Ren was seconds ago, and he doesn’t seem to have noticed the internal alarm his friend was having.

Ren had watched Doc transform so many times. But was he just as lovable as the sky? No, of course not. The sky doesn’t betray or kill, nor does it aim to become god. The sky was just the limit. It merely was, no ambition, no emotions, the cruelty of storms and scorching suns was only a matter of coincidence. Could he say the same for himself, then? No, not himself either. The storms and scorching suns weren't the innocent coincidence Ren wished they were. The sky could only do so much, while Ren has done very little.

Ren fought with himself again, trying to find a way he can justify his and Doc's continued existence. _Maybe this one_. Maybe all their previous cloud formations weren’t as beautiful as the sky's, but maybe this one was; Maybe the Doc that nurses strays back to health, always unwilling to hurt anyone who would feel the pain, the Doc with rough, scarred, cybernetic hands but always giving the most reassuring of touches. Maybe the Ren that doesn’t let anything immoral get past him, the unyielding protector not out of obligation but out of a real desire to shield those who need him.

**No.** Those weren’t lovable either.

They’ve done too much.

It doesn't matter how well they rebuild the world or themselves. There was only too much blood on their hands.

Ren stared at the sky, as his mind kept drifting farther and farther away from shore and closer to reality but never reaching close enough to accept the truth aloud. He glanced at his friend again.

His only eye was full of ease and contentment, a stark difference compared to the empty and unfeeling gaze he always used to carry himself with. But, Ren had to remind himself, it’s still the same eye. No matter what emotions it looked with, it was the same eye that stared at torture, weapons, death, formulas for poisons, statistics of expected deaths that were in the millions, and didn’t blink. This version of Doc may not remember what he’d done or what he was like, but he still has the cross of being Doc to bear. He may have changed to what was essentially an entirely different person, but he was still the same person that didn’t deserve a moment of peace, the exact kind that he was having right now.

Ren let his eyes wander the sky again, chewing his cheek. He’ll never have a moment of peace in hell, so he’ll let him have this while he can.

Ren resigned himself and thought to also have this moment while he can. He has his own sins to pay for, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and criticisms are encouraged <3


End file.
